David: It sounds like something I’d be very interested in hearing. I think there was quite a bit of insight and wisdom in your book Molecules of Emotion actually.
Candace: A lot of people liked the book. They write me and all. I’m glad it inspired people, but it’s a book, and it takes a long time to read. What if there was something that people could listen to every day, for a brief period of time, and it could really help them? I think we’re there. I think that by having lived on both sides of the paradigm, maybe I can make something that would really be practical and useful. Since I am a scientist, the other idea is that after we make it I think we could test it, and see if it really does help in this and that way by having some actual rigorous, controlled scientific testing. Then it’s like an experiment. We could continue to optimize it, make new versions, and make it better and better. It wouldn’t take a lot of effort, or a lot of my time, and it’s also a way to not spend all my life force like on the Peptide T project.
My work used to have a very exhausting struggle struggle struggle quality to it, but I’m now starting to laugh at it, and see how easy it is. Today was great day at the NIH. There were people who had once been staunch enemies of the drug who couldn’t believe it. Now they got to hear a talk by another scientist who’s saying, we’re all looking for a drug, and there’s people in this room who have a drug that acts just this way–and he looks over at Mike and me, and everyone knows exactly what he’s talking about. Afterwards everyone is smiling at us, and shaking our hand. It was unbelievable, and we don’t have to try too hard. All we have to do is not be negative, and not trip over our selves at the end of the day. It comes down to your own feelings about yourself, how we relate to ourselves. It’s like the last line of that episode of Sex in the City, “the most important relationship we have is with ourselves.” The way we relate to ourselves has this eerie way of expanding wildly all over, because it’s also the way we relate to the world.
David: Yeah, it really is uncanny isn’t it?
Candace: It’s spooky as hell. So it’s like every stupid thing I ever did keeps coming back to haunt me until I heal it. Then I can like laugh at it–and then whoosh–that’s gone. Each day these things are coming at me, and I’m quite sure now that it won’t be a struggle if I can just really walk the talk, and not be a bossy overbearing shrew (laughter)–which I can be–and truly kick some joy into what’s going on. And take some delight in the way that this drug has just popped out, and realize–eeehhh–it’s not me. I don’t have to have so much ego tied up in it. It’s truly a miraculous creation, and it’s fallen into my lap. And, hey, at least one other person–Mike–is responsible for at least fifty-one percent of it. So it’s a little more generosity, a little more humility, and I’ll be a saint by the end of this. (laughter) Stay tuned.